It’s all in your head

Being able to manage multiple goals during your daily routine is a vital part of a successful life. These goals can be anything from improving your tennis skills, learning a new language or improving your grades. The process of pursing several goals requires effort, a reevaluation of plans, strategies, and goal commitments. Learning to deal with conflict by identifying various means that satisfy multiple goals is very important for your psychological well-being.

Many individuals have several different goals and are unsure on how to attain their goals in an effective manner. For instance, I would like to own a house and be able to travel the world at the same time, but I am unsure how to achieve both goals. This may be due to finances, personal relationships, or emotional turmoil. Pursuing one set of goals hinders my efforts at pursuing my other goals because my behavior is directed at one goal which is incompatible with the other. So how are we going to be able to multi task our goals in an effective and positive manner?

Goal conflict is when you are pursuing one goal that undermines your pursuit of another valued goal. Those who are contemplative and hesitant tend to experience goal conflict. The academic journal Motivation and Emotion described that the participants who experienced goal conflict in their study, reported having greater levels of depression, anxiety and hysteria. In contrast, those who experienced goal facilitation reported having greater levels of positive feelings, life satisfaction and were successful in achieving their goal.

Individuals who are action orientated tend to focus on their current task, protecting their goals from challenging demands, and are proficient at achieving their goals. Those who ruminate on other goals or unpleasant emotional states are less likely in being able to acquire their goals. Under stressful conditions, state oriented people have trouble deciding and acting on ways to achieve their valued outcome, which in return makes it more likely to view their goals as impossible to attain.

If you focus on the variable, it will prevent you from achieving the goal.

It is essential to distinguish between your set goal and your personal variables to gain understanding in achieving goal motivation. For example, do you wish to lose 10 pounds by the end of the month before your trip to Miami? You feel uncomfortable working out, but you really want to look good on the beach? At this point, it is important to keep your goal in mind and find ways to lose the weight to attain your goal. Here you have identified the goal, losing 10 pounds. The personal variable is you don’t like working out. If you focus on the variable, it will prevent you from achieving the goal.

Keep in mind, personal variables may be more important in determining the consequence of conflict on goal attainment then the goal variables. The ability to plan for delay gratification and manage stress levels are obvious. What is not so obvious but just as equally important is the ability to tolerate cognitive complexities.

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Setting up dreams

I have finally put my big girl pants on and am now dedicated to making my dreams come true on my own. At least I am trying.

Applying to jobs in the field of communications have been a bust. After two long years I finally got the hint. If I want in, I have to dig my own tunnel and create my own door.

I have been successful in getting a few works published but the amount printed and the queries rejected cannot be compared.

I am still pitching, that will never stop. Though I got to say, being rejected as much as I have takes a toll on the high spirits. My new approach is to network.

Through Instagram, LinkedIn, trying to figure out Facebook, networking is key.

I have decided to sign myself up with Upwork. I find joy in feeling validated when responding yes, to the question, “are you a writer?”

That is the plan for now. Keep writing, connecting and putting my work out on the web.

You want something done right, you got to do it yourself.

There is no security in insecurity

 

Young girls often have insecurities. It is something, young, old, tall, short, thin or fat have in common; how much we don’t like something about ourselves. Unfortunate for me and the vices that have taken my mind captivate; the two has resulted in unchangeable consequences, of which at this point of my life I am willing to accept.

The point of this post is to tell all you girls and guys out there that, even though you feel like you don’t matter, you do! Whenever you think your self-esteem does not deserve recognition, stop. Try to step in front of a mirror and remind yourself that you are deserving of the things you want.

When things are not going your way, job hunting, relationships, work, or family. Try to not allow your emotions to invite your vices to help “correct or ease” the problem. It will only make things worse. We need companions, internally and externally. If your internal companions are the ones encouraging self-loathing and destruction, then close the door on that. Focus on the external factors and things that will help show you how great of a person you could become.

If you stay friends with the little voice in the back of your mind that says,
“screw it, no one likes us, hell you don’t even like you!”
Don’t take that drink, swallow that pill or puff that joint. If you do, you will find that the feeling of your life being ruined or going nowhere will become a reality. From experience, trust me on that.

I was and currently am dealing with the consequences of listening to that voice in my head, telling me I am no good. That I can’t accomplish anything and that I am total fuck up.

I have had a harsh reality punch me in the gut. I do not cry. No, instead I mourn for the slight bit of intelligence I may have had. I harbor resentment to the stupidity that reigns in my mind for the past years. The only thing that I can do at this point is move on. Accept responsibility and try to remember that I may not be worth much right now, but I will be. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”