It’s all in your head

Being able to manage multiple goals during your daily routine is a vital part of a successful life. These goals can be anything from improving your tennis skills, learning a new language or improving your grades. The process of pursing several goals requires effort, a reevaluation of plans, strategies, and goal commitments. Learning to deal with conflict by identifying various means that satisfy multiple goals is very important for your psychological well-being.

Many individuals have several different goals and are unsure on how to attain their goals in an effective manner. For instance, I would like to own a house and be able to travel the world at the same time, but I am unsure how to achieve both goals. This may be due to finances, personal relationships, or emotional turmoil. Pursuing one set of goals hinders my efforts at pursuing my other goals because my behavior is directed at one goal which is incompatible with the other. So how are we going to be able to multi task our goals in an effective and positive manner?

Goal conflict is when you are pursuing one goal that undermines your pursuit of another valued goal. Those who are contemplative and hesitant tend to experience goal conflict. The academic journal Motivation and Emotion described that the participants who experienced goal conflict in their study, reported having greater levels of depression, anxiety and hysteria. In contrast, those who experienced goal facilitation reported having greater levels of positive feelings, life satisfaction and were successful in achieving their goal.

Individuals who are action orientated tend to focus on their current task, protecting their goals from challenging demands, and are proficient at achieving their goals. Those who ruminate on other goals or unpleasant emotional states are less likely in being able to acquire their goals. Under stressful conditions, state oriented people have trouble deciding and acting on ways to achieve their valued outcome, which in return makes it more likely to view their goals as impossible to attain.

If you focus on the variable, it will prevent you from achieving the goal.

It is essential to distinguish between your set goal and your personal variables to gain understanding in achieving goal motivation. For example, do you wish to lose 10 pounds by the end of the month before your trip to Miami? You feel uncomfortable working out, but you really want to look good on the beach? At this point, it is important to keep your goal in mind and find ways to lose the weight to attain your goal. Here you have identified the goal, losing 10 pounds. The personal variable is you don’t like working out. If you focus on the variable, it will prevent you from achieving the goal.

Keep in mind, personal variables may be more important in determining the consequence of conflict on goal attainment then the goal variables. The ability to plan for delay gratification and manage stress levels are obvious. What is not so obvious but just as equally important is the ability to tolerate cognitive complexities.

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Do what you love

I lost my job two months ago. Currently I am selling my used underwear to guys with creepy Asian fetishes because, despite my efforts I am still unemployed. Not at all what I envisioned for myself when I graduated university two years ago. 

For the past two years I was dedicated to finding an entry level position within the field of journalism, communications or marketing. I applied to over 600 jobs on Indeed alone. This is not an over-exaggeration, unfortunately. 

When I wasn’t applying to entry level positions, I was working as a fill in bartender. A job that I had when I was in school, which I kept to pay the bills. 

I am somewhat of a work-a-holic. All my time and energy was divided between finding a job, so I could have consistency and keeping the other so I could eat. My train of thought went something like this,

Get a 9-5 job in your field. This way you can pay the bills on time. When you aren’t working, focus on blogging and pitching. Slowly I could gain experience doing the day job and pursuing my passion. 

I realized today that I should have been focusing all my time and energy into building up my portfolio. Picking up freelance gigs, constantly pitching and focusing on improving my writing during these past two years.

Now that I am left with fear and desperation, it is clear what I need to do. Go full time into making my dream happen. My grandmother always said,

If you do what you love, success will follow.

So I suppose in the end me losing my job may have been just what I needed. It opened my eyes and redirected my focus on to my passion, which is writing.

Tech-NO

This afternoon while going through my Snapchat, I came across a few snaps I posted that mortified me. It is sad to say but this is not the first time I have made an ass out of myself on social media.

Our generation has become accustomed to airing out our dirty laundry on social media. I have, usually when i am under the influence… But a lot of people do it sober. 

If you are mad at someone you post it. You are dissatisfied with something, you tweet about it and tag the person or place that upset you. It is so frustrating! Technology is one of those things that can improve lives or that can end lives. 

I think we need to step back and think about what it is that we put out on the internet. It seems socially acceptable to post awful moments we are going through. Our president tweets all his frustrations on a weekly basis. Our thoughts, good or bad has become entertainment for everyone else. 

Do you think it’s okay for us to be entertained by another’s actions? Even if that means on a drunken night posting a photo you wish you hadn’t. Or perhaps tweeting about an ex. Making fun of someone else because you don’t like the way you are? 

We need to teach ourselves and future generations how to better cope with the emotions that come with living this life. I’m coming around to the idea that perhaps we need to lay off the social media and technology. 

New year, old problems… 

For the past year I have been applying for jobs in my desired field. Like most 20 something’s, every rejection brings on a sense of injustice.

A combination of rejection in both my personal and professional life has created a negative perspective. This realization or at least omission was brought to my attention this evening.

Earlier this week a Co worker had done something that is a pet peeve of mine. Typically I would brush it off.

Unfortunately I acted on an  extremely immature impulse. I decided to say some not nice things. This is never okay, especially in the work place.

I was called out. Rightfully so. I quickly owned up to my misconduct, and quickly felt a blanket of shame wrapping around me. I wondered why, why did I say such a thing? I knew better and it is not in my character to behave in such a manner.

It is important to leave your baggage at the door. Maturity is not a trait that comes naturally to some. Everyone at some point has acted poorly. It is important to remember to treat others how we wish to be treated no matter the circumstance.

Since this confrontation, I have been forgiven by the person I mistreated. I am reminded that ethics, moral constitutions should always play a part in every atmosphere we find ourselves in.